There is a funny thing that happens when you hit age eighteen-nineteen. Having graduated from high school, the excitement of college looms ahead. All focus and energy and thought is on the next four years.
Suitcases are packed full of clothes, pictures are tucked away to be hung on empty walls, and all kinds of "necessities" for a dorm room are purchased. And then the big day comes. Standing on the curb outside of your new home, you tell Mom and Dad goodbye. Dad puts his hand on your shoulder, letting you know one more time that he is proud of you, knows you will do great, and to make sure you always get your oil changed on time. And then Mom, through her tears, says nothing but everything as she holds your face in her hands and then hugs you tightly.
Watching them as they walk to the car, you are struck with a few thoughts. First, you wonder what the drive home will be like for them. Will they reminisce? Will Dad cry, because you know Mom will. Will they remember and laugh about that time Dad put a diaper on your head instead of a raggy? Or maybe they will talk about the time you scored the winning goal against Urbandale as a freshman in high school, reliving it all like it was yesterday. Part of you wishes you could sit in on that car ride.
And then a new thought crosses your mind, one that you have never really given much thought to. The car backs up, and heads towards the end of the parking lot. You are struck with the intensity of emotion that accompanies this thought. The left blinker begins to bleep with color, signaling a turn is about to be made. For eighteen years you have been under their watch and care. The car crawls forward, making the turn without any sense of hurry, and slowly drives off into the distance. In that moment, you recognize for the first time the depth of love, protection, and investment Mom and Dad have poured into you for your entire life.
With an overwhelming awareness of gratitude and affection, your eyes well up with tears and you turn around to begin the walk back to the dorm, alone.
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It has been four and a half years since I waved goodbye to Mom and Dad as they pulled away from the UNI campus. My college experience was more than I could have ever imagined it would be. I have encountered trials of many kinds and joys that I never thought possible. But through all of it, the sentiment I had for the first time while standing on that curb has never left me. Instead, my appreciation and love for my parents has only grown deeper the older I have gotten and the more of life I have experienced.
Since I was a little girl who still willingly wore dresses, I have always said I wanted to be a Grandma. Aging has never scared me. Rather, I look forward to it with much anticipation and expectation. Because to me, with age comes experience, and with experience comes wisdom and understanding. And I long to be a woman who can always be taught, in order that I might gain wisdom and speak with kindness and faithful instruction (Proverbs 31:26).
My understanding up to now, what I have really learned in the last four+ years, is that my parents have been uniquely placed in my life. Very purposefully God appointed John Norbert Boccella and Betty Josephine (Terry) Boccella to be the two people in my life who constantly instruct, correct, guide, and love me. They carry a weighty responsibility as a Mom and Dad. But they have bore that role with grace and faithfulness.
I have known their love day in and day out my entire life. Yet it has only been with age that I have begun to understand how their love for me is deeply rooted and grounded in their love for Christ. Whether they are laughing with me or disciplining me, the underlying purpose is to glorify God and point me to Jesus. They desire to see me be successful, and their definition of success is to be a woman of excellence, always giving my best without having to be perfect, with her eyes fixed on Jesus. With patience, kindness, and gentleness they have instructed me in the way of the Lord, to follow His commands and to write them upon my heart.
One of those commands is to honor your parents.
Deuteronomy 5:16 says, "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you." If I am going to glorify God in all things and learn how to be teachable and righteous, one of the best ways to practice that is to come under the authority of and honor my parents. Make no mistake, God was very intentional in the way He designed the relationship between parents and children. Again, it is with age and maturity that I have begun to appreciate this very intentional design, and I am increasingly overwhelmed with gratefulness for God's all-knowing ways.
Whether you are sixteen or fifty-six, I urge you, brothers and sisters, to ask God for an ability to see His perfect plan in terms of parents. No, it is not always easy to honor Mom and Dad. No, it is not always straightforward and simple to obey. No, it is not always our natural inclination to willingly admit we are wrong and that Mom and Dad do in fact know best. But we are commanded by our loving FATHER in Heaven to honor our father and mother. And if my parents have taught me anything... It is that God is who He says He is. He is worthy of all my devotion and deserves my submission. And while I am on this earth, I will willingly abide by John and Betty and follow them as they follow Christ.
Mom and Dad, thank you. Your love has not gone unknown, your patience has not gone unacknowledged, and your faithfulness has not gone unappreciated. I cherish you both.
